if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
