In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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