so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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