He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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