I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
