my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
