All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
