I just made out with a guy for $7.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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