there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
