We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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