Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize
