I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
