You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
