I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
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