great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
