we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
where am i from again
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
