Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
