they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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