Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Randomize
