Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
