These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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