It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
i am craving dick and cupcakes
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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