Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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