she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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