Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
