you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
You can't just leave with hair like that
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
