Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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