I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
