whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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