Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
