we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
