hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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