i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
