Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I just had sex on a roof
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
