so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
