I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize