I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
