my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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