Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize