im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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