he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
