i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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