she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
