she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
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