Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
