I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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