i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Randomize
