I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
