ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
