I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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