i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
