We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize