I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize