We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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