dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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