Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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