tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
