In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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