I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
