We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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