So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
