if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
