i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
